


How Tragic to Fall Like This

by HFyornT



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst and Tragedy, Blood, Boys In Love, Boys' Love, Drinking & Talking, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Shounen-ai, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27261949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HFyornT/pseuds/HFyornT
Summary: In which Crypto suddenly spewed a large amount of petals from his mouth.[ Warning! Hanahaki (an interesting odd fictional) Disease and blood. ]
Relationships: Crypto | Park Tae Joon & Wraith | Renee Blasey, Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Mirage | Elliott Witt, Mirage | Elliott Witt & Octane | Octavio Silva, Mirage | Elliott Witt & Pathfinder, Mirage | Elliott Witt & Rampart | Ramya Parekh, Mirage | Elliott Witt & Wraith | Renee Blasey, Rampart | Ramya Parekh & Pathfinder
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I tried to come with something different after watching season 7 trailer (anyway the trailer is very amazing and dope and i can't wait to play in Olympus) then this idea popped up in my head. I should have given a warning but there is no proper option so i write down here. Please be cautious this fanfic contains Hanahaki disease and blood. Not in violent way but you know what does disease mean.

It wasn't a secret that Crypto and Mirage couldn't get along pretty well. After many tries, Mirage didn't try to bother the black haired man again as many as he did before. It seemed Crypto liked to be discreet about anything from others. Everyone understood this but sometimes they hoped he would be more slowly opened with others. Hell, even for Mirage it was hard to crack that cold shield off from him. Mirage just wanted to be friends with the other legend but he then thought about the results of his actions. So, now he didn't come to have a chatter with him. Mirage also thought perhaps his actions would make Crypto uncomfortable and the trickster didn't want that.

Crypto noticed this. When the match ended, Mirage didn't come to him. He waited for a little more time and nope, Mirage got up and then sat beside Bloodhound, chatting with them. It wasn't like he hoped for it, it just made him curious why he didn't show himself to freely put his arm on Crypto's shoulders then spew nonsense, he thought, to him.

But honestly, sometimes Crypto liked it when Mirage bothered him, in a good but sometimes annoying way. Being silly, yeah. That was Mirage for everyone. When he told the hacker about jokes, Crypto only rolled his eyes and didn't make eyes contact with the trickster. Mirage seeked a response but that kind of response wasn't what he wanted. But there was this banter when Mirage tolf him a funny yet silly story and it rewarded him a chuckle from Crypto. The asian then smiled for two seconds and the trickster freaking swore it was the first time he made the old man smiled. He was happy with how it came. He kept trying so they could get closer but he pushed his luck too far. None of the respons satisfied him. Even Crypto went too harsh with him. He once yelled at him right in the face. Well, some of the interactions weren't at good timing for example when Crypto was working with his laptop. On their last encounter on the dropship before match began, Mirage patted him on the shoulder and gave him best of luck, also told him he felt bad for always bothering the hacker.

A week had passed and they didn't talk much. They only spoke when inadvertently passed each other on the way but that was just saying "hi" along with a question from Mirage that Crypto would answer and nothing more.

Crypto didn't like this and inwardly spoke to himself, "What the hell was that?"

Crypto was feeling uneasy. He put his glass of coffee on the desk and then he sat. Head fell to the back, thinking hopelessly. He sighed, in a comfortable way for the last time because suddenly, he felt an urge to vomit. His lungs felt full and it hurt him physically. It was difficult to breath properly. In no time he coughed several times. His left hand clunched tightly to the fabric of his black t-shirt around the chest. His right hand tried to cover the mouth. Crypto jolted from his chair. He panicked, something was about to burst from his mouth.

The urge was released.

Red. The color was red.

It wasn't blood. Those were flower petals.

Crypto just throwed up petals from his mouth.

Crypto undoubtedly got very shock as his eyes got widen at the scene. He glared at the screens in front of him, seeing himself spewing flowers nonstop. Tears started to form and run down the cheeks like those were slippery hills. His face went pale as the reality hit him but didn't knock him enough. The man felt like being chocked by something- and he wanted to break free. After a solid minute of torture, he stopped spewing flower petals. He looked at what his body did to him. He recognized those petals. Those were shaped like red tulips. His right hand picked a petal. It was stunning and definitely gained his attention in many ways.

Crypto was confused, shocked and more importantly... he felt pain. It happened very fast. He stared at his desk, red tulips mess everywhere. His body became languid. Then he started coughing again. He rushed to grab a tissue. This time the man spat blood. Not much but it sure was worrisome.

" _Jenjang_ , probably the effect from before." he wiped his mouth with another tissue then threw them to the bin.

Crypto tried to clear his throat as he realized his voice became hoarse. This was the first time he experienced this. He searched what was the odd and yet extraordinady cause.

 _Hanahaki Disease_ , it said on one of his computer screen.


	2. Chapter 2

It was hard for him to meet everyone now. The timing was unpredictable. He didn't know when the disease would relapse. Everytime he snoze or coughed, he would be straight panic, afraid he would spit flowers again. But, as for now, he hadn't experienced it again. That was a good thing he felt relief for.

Afternoon passed, everyone was minding their businesses. Some joined to talk with a particular guy to pass their times. Mirage was talking about the fanmeeting that merely held few days ago. Crypto didn't join the chat, he didn't feel the need to feel interested but he was a little curious and did sure can hear them clearly because the dropship wasn't that big to have comfy enough, private space for each individual. No wall or borders blocked to settle the sound.

"There is this lady i met. She was gor-gore- stunning, i mean, she wore high heals-"

"You think she wore boots to your fan meeting session?!" Octane interrupted.

"Octavio, shut up, I'm talking. Anyway-"

At that moment Crypto's heart fell. He felt something hurt in his chest. The pain, it was odd- and rare for him. He didn't get used to that kind of feeling. Soon the man came to a realization he was deeply in love with the Solace's third sexiest man. He had once seen his profile dating and it was stupidly hilarious. Crypto thought Mirage was a funny guy... stupid, captivating, undependable but the man really got a talent and he was a smart guy- that was how he described Mirage.

Crypto was jealous. He knew no doubt the man he had crush on had lovers in the past but they were his exes now so that should be fine. He didn't know he was still looking for one. Of course he was looking for one, idiot, Crypto thought. The popular man could get everything he wanted.

Oh no.

Crypto abruptly got up from the chair. He ran to the bathroom. Both of his hands covered his mouth. Tears started to form.The other legends were surprised by that kind of sudden weird act. Lifeline was about to chase and ask him but she realized he went inside the bathroom already.

"What the- is he okay?!" Mirage shouted as he sensed something was wrong.

"Is he sick?" Rampart asked.

"May the All Father bless him." Bloodhound added.

After successfully entered the bathroom, he let it all out. The man vomited flowers again. Yellow Carnations floated in the toilet seat's hole and scattered around bathroom's floor. He unfortunately couldn't recognize what was the kind as he didn't know much about types of flowers. His lungs weren't occupied anymore. Crypto wiped his mouth that got dirtied by blood. Once he released all and felt much better, he flushed the toilet seat. He had no other choice. There was no way he cleaned them and then threw to a trash bin, people would get curious and know. 

"Cryppy! You okay?" Mirage knocked and asked.

"We could hear how bad that was, buddy."

"Of course, they heard." Crypto mumbled quietly.

"I-i'm fine. Don't mind me!"

After getting rid of all evidences, he opened the door. He saw others there and well, Mirage was so close to him. Crypto almost tumbled to the back if the brown haired man didn't catch him in the waist, sending chills to the older man.

"Ops, be careful, kid."

Crypto gained his balance and then harshly pushed Mirage instead of thanking him, "You are a nuisance!"

Mirage retorted, "You didn't have to do that!"

Crypto was just- he was in bad mood... and now he made Mirage like that too. They knew they often got into arguments but never did they have an intention to be mad with each other. The hacker just made a mistake.

" _Qué pasó_?"

"That will not end good." Bloodhound added.

"Hyeon is acting weird today."

In another room, Crypto checked on internet what flower he spewed. He also searched furher more about the disease that couldn't be cured by medicine. The man only got two options and those were either he had to confess his feelings or he had to prepare for a surgery. Talking about surgery, it would take time. Everyone would notice his absence. No doubt they would ask what happened and he wasn't prepared for that now as he didn't have an appropriate answer to cover the truth. He apparently wasn't the only one. Not many but sure he wasn't alone. Many chose to confess their feelings and their stories were variously mesmerizing.

Red tulips meant falling in love.

Crypto fully awared of that. 

Yellow Carnations meant rejection.

This one shocked him the most. The man let his head fell to the back, sighing and his two eyes furrowed in desperation. He couldn't believe he forgot one most important thing.

People who suffered from hanahaki disease were in one-sided love relationship. It meant the loves of their lives didn't feel the same.


	3. Chapter 3

Crypto knew at this very damned moment that Mirage wasn't feeling the same and attracted to him romantically. 

What an absolute ass fact to know the man himself suffered double pain.

The himbo he loved wouldn't return his feeling back and as a result of that he suffered this kind of disease. What an unrequited love but with his throat became hoarse and eyes sore from crying.

Fate was being unfair with him. After what happened to him he didn't expect to get more of it. He was like a toy being tortured by Fate, deeply curious what would happen next and how it ended.

He wasn't prepared- and also wasn't paranoid because he knew the truth.

"You sure you don't wanna invite him?"

"Yeah, it's not like he will come along anyway."

Mirage planned to make a "party", only a little gathering between legends though cause he was lazy to set up a tremendous party for now. No one wanted to listen to blizzar songs after an exhausting day but everyone knew no one would reject a little treat as a refreshment.

"Crypto isn't much a social person but he never rejects an invitation. In the end he will come and talk a little. You know, it helps us slowly knowing about him without making him uncomfortable." Wraith explained.

Mirage was fighting with the thoughts in his mind whether he should invite the older man who always called him "old man" or not. He felt bad for leaving people behind. Even he would, scaredly nervous, ask Revenant and Caustic sometime. Of course he awared of their answers.

Everyone was ready to leave- but someone. Crypto couldn't be spotted nowhere. Wraith was the first to notice. She looked for him and thankfully because of the voice in her head that guided her, she was able to find him. She saw Crypto curled up, hugging his knees.

"Are you okay?"

Crypto immediately flinched, eyes fully opened. He relieved when he saw Wraith in his sight. Thought it was someone else- hired by the Syndicate.

"You plan to stay here? You don't wanna go home?"

"I'm not... it's not like that. Thanks for reminding me." Crypto shifted.

Wraith folded her arms, telling him about the little gathering, "We will gather at Elliott's place after this. Do you want to come?"

"I'm feeling, um, a bit unwell today. I want to rest." Crypto said, eyes wandering to another direction and right palm touched his sweaty nape.

"Understood. I just got informed what happened to you. You ran to the bathroom and everyone could tell by hearing how bad it was."

"Get well soon." Wraith then left him alone.

The younger man hufted. He went to his individual specified room and tidying up. He was ready to go home.

"I can't drink but i can tell the taste is good!" Pathfinder cheered.

Rampart asked, "How the hell you can?"

"Robots can't consume beverages but i can create and mix drinks."

The joy continued. Octane was the most noisy and busy daredevil, switching from a spot to another spot, didn't mind to annoy or bother anyone. Bloodhound was pretty quiet. They fell asleep. Wattson sat beside them and was allowed to play with Arthur. The raven seemed to take a liking to her. Caustic surprisingly agreed to the invitation. He was sitting beside Wattson and drinking an alcoholic beverage. Still, he wasn't planning to get drunk so he only allowed himself to sip in little amount.

The ones who weren't here were Revenant and Crypto. Well, without them the "party" still going on and Mirage was fine with it.

Still, the talkative host didn't know if it was only a bad hunch or not, he felt something wasn't right. 


	4. Chapter 4

Let's talk about Mirage. To be honest he didn't feel anything special to a particular man who often mocked him. Mirage didn't think they would get closer and be fond with each other, let alone being intimate. Did it look like Crypto enjoyed Mirage's companion when they were in the same squad? Oh, or when he offered the korean a soju and Crypto rejected it? Hell, there was no way a time where this kind of thought crossed his mind. 

Crypto liked him? 

"Wow." 

"I know." 

"I don't trust you about this, Wraith." 

"Why not?!" Wraith jolted from her chair.

Mirage spun to get behind the bar, Wraith followed, "Where the hell have you been? Don't you see everytime me and him together he always acts cold toward me!"

"It's more than that."

Mirage was standing behind the bar's counter, arms folded on his broad chest, "Your reason is?" 

Wraith stared at him for a moment and then left him alone in awe, "How it ends depends on you. You have to make important decisions."

He was shocked and once again struggled in his mind, "How come you get into this conclusion?"

She stopped walking, sighing, "... I hope i don't give a damn about this kind of thing, Elliott. But, it hurts me seeing him like that."

All the legends collapsed. They had to be dreaming, most of them, right now. They slept in not pretty comfy and proper positions but enough to drift them to another state. People left crazy mess. Bottles and such scattered around room. Heavy smell of drinks wandered in the air. Mirage fixed his blanket. He could clean the mess later. There he was, about to fall asleep with weightness buried on him. He could feel how frustrating was the issue. Right, he couldn't sleep in this kind of condition.

It wasn't about Crypto was a man. He was attracted to men so gender wasn't the problem here. What was the problem was Crypto himself. Was he even into men?

And even he was, why it had to be Mirage, himself, among other men? He wondered why he chose to fall for him instead of anyone.

"Yes, Elliott, go on, sun rises and you still haven't closed your eyes for good."

Lucky tomorrow was a day off. He soon drifted to another world.

_"Igemwoya?"_ Crypto muttered in disbelief.

"Ya, you see buddy, junks everywhere." Rampart and with her huge smile greeted the tech man.

Crypto was called to help them for something and it was to help cleaning the leftover of the chaos all legends made last night. He was supposed to get used with this kind of view in front as he had attended one before, but it was getting worse. Perhaps alcohol made it worse. He thought with him being absence things wouldn't go so chaotic but he was wrong. 

"You guys were really having fun last night i see."

"I drank your portion." she joked.

"Thanks. Very helpful."

He rolled his sleeves up to the elbows. It wasn't really a satire as in fact it was true the legends were having a blast.

Some of the legends went to their homes earlier at dawn because of many reasons. They didn't want to bump into troubles if they went home at morning where many people possibly crossed path with them on streets. 

"It's unfair only us who clean this shit."

"Keep calm will ya? Let them be."

There was Mirage and Rampart along with Pathfinder... and Crypto who just arrived in fine condition, not sober or anything. What was remarkably left would be hard to be removed in short time. His eyes were kinda swollen.

Mirage pouted, "I thought everyone knew what was responsibility. Ah, jokes on me. Don't take it seriously. I only want this to get done as fast as possible."

"But you are right about responsibilities. We have to be committed about it." he muttered along with his hand picked an empty used glass.

"It's unusual for you to interact friendly with me."

"I'm not always mad you know that? For what reason i should be angry at you all the time?"

"Maybe you just hate me."

"-A... What? No. I will never. No reason to hate you."

"For real?" Mirage chuckled, there was a slight happiness and relief when heard the statement coming from Crypto's mouth.

"Nothing particular reason i will hate you. You are just annoying and get on my nerves sometimes but i can handle it."

"Oh~ you are a strong boy, aren't you? Anyway thanks for coming. You feel better now?"

"Yes, i'm fine now. Thanks for asking."

"It's what friends do. If you need help don't hesitate to knock me."

He continued picking up litters and didn't pay attention that actually Mirage didn't leave him alone to focus. Crypto felt he was being watched and it made him uncomfortable.

"Stop looking at me like that. You are blocking my way."

"What's gotten into you recently?"

Crypto hadn't gotten any idea, "Huh?"

"Is there something you wanna confess directly to me? You realize you pushed me yesterday after i saved your fragile butt."

He panicked and awared of what happened yesterday, "I-i'm sorry! I was-- was..."

"Jealous? Mad?"

"I'm not jealous... or mad. And what is this jealousy are you even talking about?"

Mirage grabbed his wrist. They moved to somewhere more private. Crypto let out a little yelp, it was a lil hurt for his wrist to be dragged in force. He pinned the smaller man into wall, not letting him to escape at all. The distance between them were very close. This made their hearts beat faster than normally.

"Be honest, Crypto. Do you like me?"

"We-well no hate between us, r-right? We are cool-"

"I mean roman-rommo- God! Like falling in love, i mean." Both of his hands hit the wall in frustration.

That made Crypto startled and scared. Those hands balled into fists that ready to destroy him. He felt dominated by Mirage's emotions and yearness in seeking the truth. He didn't know if he should lie or not. If he lied it only make the Witt despised him.

Before he could say a word, his stomach was feeling like got wrecked by something. He never fond of this warning. He knew in all conscience what would happen next.

"G-get off me, Elliott! I need to use the bathroom!"

"No! Not until you answer me!"

"I have to pee!"

"Don't bullshit me you aren't-"

His pupils got widen in terrible shock and disbelief. Crypto's mouth were full... of blood and flowers. The pair of korean's gorgeous eyes reflected worry and shame. Thick blood streamed from his lips. Petals and some fresh leaves fell to the floor. He cried in despair- and contumely, because Mirage saw him. Flowers wouldn't stop bursting and that made his jaws hurt to let out such immerse amount. He witnessed it and knew.

And it was tiring to keep like this. His eyes hadn't recovered from yesterday and now those were getting swollen worse. Mirage froze in his place, unable to move. He didn't know how to behave.

"Phsh..." that distraught voice snapped Mirage back to reality.

"Pshls... Lemme go..." Crypto begged.

He eventually pushed the conscious unguarded bigger man with the strength he had left and it worked. He walked toward bathroom limply, leaving a trail of soft tread made by cellulose. Mirage slumped to the ground. 

It was surreal, wasn't it?


	5. Chapter 5

His clothes got spat by blood spots. It left a trace on him too beside shock. Mirage looked at the flowers. He had no idea what kind of flower was that. But, one thing he knew he was familiar with it as his friend of him had experienced it. At that time Mirage laughed it off, thinking such thing wasn't exist... until his friend told him the story and all. His friend now was dating with their lover who suffered hanahaki disease. That experience was hard to forget as it showed them how strong the bond between them and their lover. Mirage was happy for the couple though.

He didn't expect someone would affirmingly feel like that toward him too. Not even in the slightest it was his rival in game.

Meanwhile in the bathroom, Crypto cleaned himself. He sat on his knees, tears ruined his pale face and it was getting concerning. The sink's faucet keep flowing water drastically to distinguish the sound of his cry and hoarse voice.

"Crypto, i know you are there. Let's talk, okay?"

"What happened?" Crypto swore he could hear Rampart talked.

"It's- it's complicated."

"These petals too. What are these?" she said as she lifted up her right leg to see her shoe stepped onto something soft.

"I see flowers." Pathfinder clapped his hands.

"It's not laughing matter, Path. You shouldn't have laughed at it." he spoke in weak tone.

"Oh, i'm sorry. I didn't know that." Pathfinder got sad.

"It's okay. Now you know. It's about Crypto."

Crypto cursed to himself. Everyone would know. He hated himself for this. There was nothing he could do to cover. Too late, yet too humiliating he admitted.

"Crypto, please."

"Oh well you should come out now. It's not good staying inside too long."

"Please come out and talk, friend."

The three of them tried persuding him. It didn't work. Mirage ordered Pathfinder to grab tissue for Crypto to use. He came back with a box of it.

"You know no tissue there. I give you one box. Use it to your heart's content."

No respond. Mirage heavily sighed, feeling guilty.

"We should leave him." Rampart suggested.

"But-"

"For his own good! Look i don't know what happened but it's better to surrender and leave him be now. You own us an explanation."

Mirage gave up. They retreated and eventually finished cleaning the bar. Crypto managed to sneak out from the bathroom without being noticed. When Mirage checked, he was already gone and the bathroom's door was hung open.

"What?! You are dumber than i thought!" Wraith was angry at him.

"You don't have to be so aggresive to him. You made him scared!"

"I know. I'm stupid! The negative emotion inside me took control of myself."

"Now that you know he is suffering from hanahaki disease, he must be like you but you don't like him back."

He couldn't lie, "Yes, that's true."

"Look, Elliott, i don't force you to return his feeling. Like i said, gotta make crucial decisions. What the two of you need to do now is talking, resolve the thing between after Crypto feels better."

On the other side of dropship, the rest assured the hacker, helping him to stay calm and in the right track. 

"It's okay, Hyeon. No one will make fun of you and thinking that's creepy. We are here for you." Wattson reassured.

All nodded in rhythm and grinned. Damn, if it was something interesting they were very into it. Even so, they respected him by not digging deeper about that. Crypto felt at ease. It wasn't as bad as he thought before. He was super nervous to meet all his colleagues in arena when he went back for the game. The first thing they do were greeting and cheering at him, unlike what he thought.

"So, um, yuh like Witt." Lifeline spoke.

"... Yeah, what about it?"

"No, that's just unexpected. That's all."

"Still, i'm surprised to find someone i know suffers from hanahaki disease. It's rare. Do you- do you really love him so much?"

Crypto snickered, "Maybe. I don't know. It has been a long time since i fall in love with someone- or this is my first. Again, who knows. Never have this strong feeling of attraction for someone very much before i met him."

He spilled all of it since, well, no turning back now. Only that because it was beyond his capability to be ever anticipated. No more information he needed to tell to everyone.

"Breath, Hyeon. Focus, the match is about to start."

Later the lady announcer informed through the dropship about the assigned squads.

"I want to talk to you. Please."

Crypto spun, seeing a man that already made him like a crazy mess, "Yes, me too."

They sat in high tension and awkward silence. Mirage felt irritated. His fingers were fidgeting onto a food container he held.

"What is that?"

Mirage startled, "Oh-um this, yeah, for you. Gimbap. I have been meaning to give you this. For an apology... for what happened yesterday. Honestly, sorry for suddenly pinning you to the wall. I'm sorry, really."

Crypto flattered but that didn't erase his uneasyness, "Your apology is accepted and for the answer, yes i like you."

Mirage gave the take away gimbap to him. He watched Crypto slowly ate it with chopsticks. 

"Hey, easy, i don't press you."

"I like you a lot." he said with a smile bloomed on his breath-taking face.

Mirage saw him as a good looking individual who was hard to be approached. Now, they sat together on a same bench. The man admitted he liked him a lot. A lot and that was much than Mirage ever could accept.

To prevent from making him uncomfortable, the trickster's eyes looked up into orange sky instead, "Why?"

"You have everything that fills the holes inside me. Your witty humor, charisma, intelligence for a field where i'm not keen on. All... Many reasons to love you. But also, to hate you, you know. Even so, that feeling isn't as powerful as my lo-love for you. Perhaps." 

"I... i don't know what to say but thank you."

"I'm glad i told you everything. I hope you don't hate me."

"Absolutely no! For what reason why i should hate you?"

Crypto smiled sincerenly. Mirage grinned at him and that meant sunshine to him. That smile today was meant only for him and himself.

"This is enough. I can't ask him to love me back. At least Elliott doesn't hate me." he muttered inwardly.

It was getting late. Moon reflected their shadows in the dark. Dim of light enveloped their postures. That was obvious. Mirage stood in front of and confessed to him the way he felt. His hands tightened into fists, shaking. Crypto could tell Mirage was nervous but his soothing gaze indicated to continue.

"I'm sorry, i can't return your feeling."

"I know _geurigo nan gwaenchana."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaahhhh why the hell am i sad i don't know if i want this fanfic to have a happy or angst ending ;___; Do you think i should end this with happy or angst ending? I already have the scenarios in my head i just have to type it but for the sake of my salad can someone help me :"D if you ask me yes you can say i'm really down with this ship. Keep this ship sailing!


End file.
